Hello Reader 🤗 Happy Monday! I hope you don’t have the case of the Mondays today. It is the first full week back to work of 2019. I don’t know about you but I definitely got used to only being at work for three days for the past couple of weeks and to now to go back to five days… Man, may it not go slow.
Today’s post is dedicated to being obsessed with yourself. Yes, I said that right – be obsessed with yourself. Now, I don’t mean “obsessed” as in being conceited or being selfish; I mean be obsessed with taking care of yourself and your well-being.
For the last couple of days, I have really been thinking about my goals as far as being physically active. I never, in my life been more concerned, more driven, more motivated than now, to take care of myself. I set a goal this year to be active as least three times a week. This last first week of 2019 – I crushed it and I couldn’t be any happier for myself. I did workouts at home, went to the gym and even took a class. In that moment, that’s when I realized I wanted to be more obsessed with myself: in taking care of my body and my well-being.
Ever since I was a little girl, I was always judged for being a bigger girl. It’s often frown upon in my culture to be fat or of a bigger body type. Us girls are told we should be small, petite and skinny (yeah, magazines tell you that too). And well, that was just not me. I like food. Can you blame me?
My weight has always gone up and down. I think around my pre-teen years entering my teenage years, I used to starve myself because my family used to talk shit about how I ate too much. I played sports in high school and I’d say at that point in my life, I was okay with my body image. I was physically active and was still eating whatever I wanted. I also wasn’t thinking too much about my health.
When I got to college, it was a different story. You know how they say during your first year of college, you gain about 15 pounds, aka the “Freshman-15?” My story was different. That first year of college was most stressful year I had ever experienced. I was taking about 15 units per semester, I went through a terrible break up, and it was my first time ever encountering anxiety and depression.
I remember I was having a panic attack at home and I couldn’t breathe, felt faint, and couldn’t feel my hands. I called my Dad and tried to explain what was going on but even I didn’t know what was going on. He came home and got me to the E.R. The nurses told me that I was having an anxiety attack. The doctor prescribed anxiety medication to me and I was hooked. One of the side effects of the medication was weight loss. Now, I didn’t think it would be a substantial amount weight loss but boy, I was wrong.
I dropped 15 pounds within a week and half. It was probably the skinniest I had ever been but it wasn’t a healthy weight loss. If anything, it doesn’t even count as weight loss in any way. Fast forward, I gained the weight back and got off the medication. I was actually stagnant for a bit where I wasn’t gaining weight or losing weight. But over the last few years, I’ve continued to put on weight and I was starting to feel not so great, physically and mentally.
My confidence started lacking, I’ve gained more acne, was more tired, etc. Maybe up until about a year or maybe a year and half ago, I started realizing a lot of different things that I wanted for future me. I knew I wanted to have kids of my own one day with the person I’m madly in love with and I would want nothing more than an easy-going pregnancy. My health and weight in some way could impact that. I became obsessed inside my own thoughts about eating more vegetables and fruits. Going to the gym, working out, walking more, doing activities that keep me in good spirit – I think I even drank less alcohol and I enjoyed eating salads. I wanted to live a longer life.
For the last few days, I’ve been telling myself “be obsessed with yourself; be obsessed with wanting to take care of your body, your health; bring positivity to your mind and everyone around you.” I am rebuilding some confidence in my life; driving to be a better version of myself mentally and physically. We only have one life to live; live it well. And I’m starting it with me; being me and loving myself.
And you know what? I hope you do too. Your body is an absolute temple. Your mind and soul have so much offer in this world. You are beautiful and I want you to know that. We all have different struggles with our image; it’s how you go about handling it. I didn’t like how my image made me feel, so I’m doing something different. It’s about choosing what is best for you. I’m asking you to choose to be obsessed with yourself and your well-being. I want you to live a long life just as I do. Life is beautiful even through the struggles. So love yourself, take care of yourself and be well.
Until the next post,
Warmest love and support,