Being the Breadwinner

Happy, freaking, Tuesday Reader! I hope you’re having a great start to your week. If you’re participating in the Madness, I hope you’re doing well in your bracket pool because I know I am! 

Kind of, sort of. I’m tied with my friend Edgar. BUT still.. I am #1!

In today’s post, I want to touch on the idea of being the “breadwinner.” For those who do not know what a “breadwinner” is, the dictionary defines the term as “a person who earns money to support a family.” 

My colleague and I had a conversation about the concept of how men being the “breadwinner” is becoming less attractive and not likely to be seen in today’s society.

My colleague is much in his 50s and he was telling me how back in the day, his father was the ultimate breadwinner. He was only one who worked, brought home the bread and his wife was a stay-at-home mom. It was the norm. My colleague said he strived to be just like his father.

Over the years, societal changes increased. More women entered the workforce and earned their own income. The idea of men being the “breadwinner” was not likely to be the norm anymore.

My colleague asked how Tony and I handled our living situation; implying “who pays the bills?” To simply put: right down the middle. He followed up asking if I’m okay with agreement and what I thought about the idea of Tony only bringing in the income.

When I first dating Tony, I had to let it be known I carry my own weight. I assert independence when I need to because I was raised to not depend on anyone. I think he accepted that, kind of. I think we may have had a disagreement at one point about it but we can save that story for another day 😛

Anyways, in answering my colleague’s question, I am okay with our agreement. I want us to both be able to carry our own weight but still rely on each other when needed. That’s actually a commitment I made to myself and all my other religious entities: if for any reason Tony needed help, my hand is always there.

Secondly, the idea of Tony only bringing in the income has to cross my mind in different ways. It would have a be under some circumstance that I really needed him to support me such as going back to school full time and not being able to work or I was actually ill. Otherwise, my ass be out working and getting this bread. Plus a part of me thinks I would be bored if I wasn’t working.

Everyone has a different way of looking at the idea of being the breadwinner. Personally, both of my parents worked Monday through Saturday jobs. So growing up, my expectation was that my partner and I will both be working and bringing income into this household.

My other perspective is, in order to live, there needs to be two incomes in a household. It’s very rare to see a one-income household today unless you have successfully bought a home years ago. 

How often do you hear people say “I need to find a roommate?” The sad reality is you are either living at home with your parents or if you choose to move out, you need to find a roommate. And even in cases, moving out by yourself, you’re likely to live far out of the way and/or in a studio. 

Everyone’s circumstances are different but those are the factors that most people face if they’re in their 20s and not married or have kids. The ones who have defeated those realities: I absolutely commend you. 

What do you guys think? Are we likely to see a two-income household nowadays? Do you still believe in the concept of men being the absolute breadwinner? Let me know what you think.

I don’t look at “breadwinner” with any negative connotation. In fact, I strive to be a breadwinner myself. But if my man wants to be a breadwinner as well, then fuck… we getting this bread together!

You get bread, I get bread: we’re all going to get bread. Am I right or am I right? Share your opinion with me. I would love to hear it.

Until the next post,

Get this bread 🍞,

With love and support,


Relatable + Empathetic (2019)

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