Good Morning Reader! Happy Friday and Happy National Donut Day! 🙂 If you didn’t know, this is actually one of my favorite food holidays. I love donuts although I don’t have them very often. Maybe that’s why it’s even more special. I ran to the donut shop this morning to grab a box of donuts for the office. Needless to say, people in the office were very appreciative… I mean, they better be!
Today, I wanted to discuss comfortbility in relationships. This stage in a relationship can often times be scary especially when one person in the relationship knows there’s a level of comfortability that has been reached. I’m not going to name any of friends but when we met up for lunch, we were discussing what our plans were the rest of the day after we get done hanging out. One of my girlfriends said she had a “date night” planned with her boyfriend and of course us girls approved. “Good for you.”
I’ve been living with my significant other for over a year a now. And even though we live together, we still make plans to do stuff outside our normal schedules. We still have this spark and I don’t think it’s ever going to die. I still get excited to see him when he comes home. I still miss him from afar; even if he’s just at work. I’m happy in love.
I want to help couples understand the difference between being truly happy versus being comfortable. It’s so easy to fall into routines and there’s nothing wrong with that but often times, you will find that you can confuse being happy with actually being comfortable.
Being happy in a relationship means there’s still this spark you have with your significant other. You can’t see yourself without them. You still have those butterflies in your tummy.
Being comfortable in a relationship means you’ve become complacent. You’re just “eh” or “whatever;” you just accept whatever it is. You’re not neccesarily unhappy but you’re not finding joy either. You’re just “there.”
I hope I didn’t make that sound as sad it did but in some ways, it can be. I can recall a time from my past relationships that I got comfortable and stuck around just because it was easy. I didn’t want to think about what would happen after. I invested so much time into the relationship but honestly, I’m glad it didn’t drag on any longer. As much I invested the time into the relationship, half of it was wasted time as well because I didn’t have any joy left. The feeling of comfortability and falling out of love is like “hanging by a thread.”
I think the worst scenario from comfortability is when one person feels it and other doesn’t. One is still happy and in love; still feels the sparks. The other just becomes “meh” or doesn’t even realize it because they’re that complacent. If you ever feel like you’re in this kind of state, I encourage you to speak with your significant other. Sometimes, your partner may not know they display such “comfortable” behaviors and you need to do yourself that favor and find reassurance from them. Pull the efforts and if they don’t respond the same way, well you will know. Don’t ever doubt yourself.
How often do you think couples realize that their relationships reach a level of comfortability before it’s too late? What would be your advice for those feeling as though their significant other has gotten too comfortable?
I encourage you: if you’re in a relationship, keep that spark going. Make “date nights.” Schedule one day out of the week to go grab a cup of coffee with your partner or take a walk on the beach. Spontaneously schedule something the day of. Heck, change your routine sometimes. It’s really the little things that can make a big difference.
I hope you enjoyed the post today. Have a great weekend with your friends, your family, your significant other – whoever! Let me know your thoughts on the topic.
Until the next post,
With support and love,