Happy Friday Readers. We have made it through the week.
It seems as though I have been overcoming a lot of humps this week as I was faced with various people in my life who have been needing advice. In some cases, I’ve been taking my own advice.
I have been emphasizing the phrase “righting your wrongs” all week. Of course, a lot of people interpret this phrase in many ways. Personally I believe at one point or another in our past time, we have made mistakes and/or done things we believe are morally wrong. Right? So I think we have the ability to turn those mistakes and wrongs around and do what is right in the next similar situation.
I won’t go into detail about the person’s situation. I will say that if you are having to face negative outcomes from actions you have caused and it’s making you realize you should’ve thought twice, good for you. If you’re making the attempt and giving yourself a second chance to redo things, do it the right way so that you won’t have to face those negative outcomes again.
Sometimes those negative outcomes are not even tangible. Your feelings about your actions are enough to make you turn the other cheek to do better.
I’m going to share my own personal wrong with you all. I hope it leaves no judgment because of course, not everyone will understand the situation.
One of things my Ex could tell you about in our past relationship that bothered him was my of lack visitation to see his family. Family meant a lot to him and at the time, it didn’t mean so much to me. A lot of that derives from me not having much of family and holding bitterness toward them.
The only person I could have ever shared this conversation with was my best friend because she could relate to my situation. I recall times where he was upset that I wouldn’t come over to see his family and with anger, I always responded, “Why would I go see your family if I don’t even see my own family?”
My logic was: shouldn’t I make the attempt to go see my family before even seeing yours? The other part of this situation was how much he tried to push it on me rather than trying to understand where I was coming from and that shut me down so hard. Needless to say, our relationship died because we wanted and saw different things and of course, there were other actions that caused it to go down.
At the time, I was still trying to figure out my own feelings about the situation overall. And when I looked back, I told myself if and when I do meet the right person: the one who will truly take a moment to understand my situation regarding me, as an independent person, my parents (both mom and dad), and my family, I promise to turn that wrong into a right.
I say wrong because a lot of people would’ve said I was selfish and I didn’t care about anyone but myself – and maybe I didn’t because I was still stuck in a situation where I was trying to figure out how to cope and how to move on.
And sure enough I did… I moved on from my situation with my family. I found an outcome that worked for me and my dad so that we don’t carry a guilty burden or a heavy heart onto someone else.
And then I met Tony. When I first started talking to Tony, I knew he was a family man. Family comes first to him and I was very understanding. He shared a part of his family to me and I shared all of my family baggage with him with hopes it wouldn’t turn him away from me. It hasn’t and I’m thankful for that.
His parents are amazing people; his family are amazing people. I have put forth much effort when I can to go visit his parents. His parents have welcomed me into their home and treated me as though I was one of their own children and it touches my heart more than they’ll ever know.
I enjoy being in their presence from anything such as a 2-hour visit, to dinners, to celebrations, etc. And although I don’t always understand what they’re saying because they speak in Spanish, just being in moment gives me great pleasure. I am re-learning the importance of the love and joy of a family through Tony and his family and it’s one of the best things I could’ve righted in my life.
Early this week, I had planned to go take a cycling class after work until Tony told me he was going to go visit his mom. I cancelled that class and told him I wanted to go with him and see how she’s doing.
Many of you may know at this point, I don’t have a close relationship to my mother. I also have a wrong with her but I’ve learned to cope and continue to move forward. And I’m righting it by being there for Tony’s mom if and when I can.
I want everyone to understand that you have ability to always turn things around. When it comes down, you can bring back up. It may take only a day or it could 10 years but no matter what, you made the effort to change it around.
I’m still continuing to right my wrongs today. We are not perfect people. We make mistakes, we can ask for forgiveness, we can move on, and do better for ourselves.
I hope this post can help you reflect in some ways on your past mistakes and know that you are not perfect person. You learn from it and you do better.
I hope you all enjoy Pride weekend! Have fun and be safe!
With love and support,