Being Part of a Family

Happy Sunday Readers! I’m coming to you with a weekend post. Yes, can you believe that? A weekend post!

I just wanted to touch a little bit today on hardships with family members. Hardships, for the sake of this post, can mean any challenges you have had to overcome when facing a family member. It can mean lack of communication, comfort, love, support, etc.

In having an open and meaningful conversation last night with my girlfriends, we found out that we had more in common than we thought when it came to facing our families. I think it was probably one of the first times we became very vulnerable and naked with each other. I appreciated each of of their stories and will always keep it my heart.

I’m coming to you today on a Sunday; a day that most families consider a “Family” day. I hope when you read this, you take a moment to really appreciate the family members you have. I can’t put enough emphasis on this. I write this all the time in and out of my blog posts.

It’s tough, I tell ya. I was very much a happy child and with much turmoil, I watched my world come crumbling down into pieces. The concept of family became such a blur for me. Is blood thicker than water? Did we have to put family first? Does the opinion of your family really matter?

At what point does it become very toxic for your life? That the opinions of family members has driven you insane and you’re unable to cope with it?

When I was a kid, family meant everything to me. Doing things for my family, making them proud, caring what they thought about me, etc. And it was only until I saw lies, deceitfulness, and money be the catalyst to how my world began crumbling down.

My perception of having a “Family” or viewing what a “Family” should look like changed heavily over time.

But despite what I have been through, I never gave up the thought of being part of and having a beautiful family of my own. I am an example of someone who comes from a broken family but refuses to bring my outlook onto someone else’s family.

If you’re reading this and you’re lucky enough to have two parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, aunts, uncles, and cousins who have given you unconditional love, you’re blessed. It doesn’t have to be a big family either.

My situation has made me into a loving and supporting person. It’s taught me how to be more independent, not to depend on anyone, and to give love and support to those who are not of blood.

I used to fear getting married and having kids of my own because of what my parents went through and had put me through. I longer have those feelings.

One of things my girlfriends and I realized when we were discussing this was that all of our partners are very family-oriented. We’re so thankful to be a part of their families and that their families have been so welcoming to us.

I am firm believer that the universe has brought my partner to me to give me the love and support from another family that I wholeheartedly been wanting for several years. Years of when I felt so alone; being unloved and somewhat deserted.

But I suppose I’d rather much be alone, unloved and deserted than to be stick around to be judged, hurt and unable to speak how I feel.

I used to hate this time of year: Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays were hard to get through every single year for many years. I would always try to find something to look forward to when it came to the holidays and it was enough for me to say I had a good holiday season.

Things such as getting a phone call on Thanksgiving from my best friend asking me how i was feeling on that day or my Dad being here in the country on Thanksgiving because I’m so thankful for him, and even in recent years when I would wake up and/or hear from my best friend playing NSYNC’s “Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays” on Christmas morning and having spam, eggs and rice for breakfast.

I look forward to all of that. And now, because of Tony’s parents, I look forward to the holidays so much more. I get all of my normal traditions plus being able to go over to Tony’s parents’ home for Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas Eve for tamales and opening gifts. I cherish those moments more than you will ever know.

Tony’s family has given me a different outlook of family and the encouragement of having my own little family one day.

If you’re around your family, tell them you love them and how much you appreciate them. If you’re coming from a broken family, tell your loved ones how much you love and appreciate. If you come from a broken family and your partner has a family that given you nothing but love and support, tell them that you love and support them.

As I have always said, despite coming from a broken family, I hold nothing against those who come from loving families. Trust me, I wish I could’ve had this during my late teens and early 20s.

But I think not having it, makes me even more appreciative having it now.

Have a wonderful Sunday spending time with your families. Bless you all from the bottom of my heart.

Until the next post,

#beingjtran

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