Hmm. Where do I begin?
I haven’t written since July. All was going well. And it was not up until a few weeks ago when my world got turned upside down.
I’m not looking to beat around the bush and I suppose I don’t even have to share this with anyone but I’m just 1 of 100,000 people (more I’m sure) who unfortunately hit a bump in the road this year.
Last month, I took a week off to celebrate my four (4) year anniversary with Tony. Given the pandemic, we decided to stay in San Diego and be tourists for the week. Little did I know, my life took an unexpected turn.
Upon coming back to work, I found out that I was being laid off from my job.
Yes, I was laid off again.
Only this time, it was from a job that I geniunely enjoyed.
I wasn’t sure how to feel at first. The hustle in me said “Alright, let’s get on looking for another job. Time’s a tickin.” But my feelings took over and said “Hey… Slow down. Process what just happened. It’s okay to allow yourself to feel this moment.”
I cried. I cried for days. I didn’t think it was possible for me to feel that heartbroken off of a job loss but I did.
When I was told I was being laid off, all I could think was “Well, it’s 2020. If I could choose to be laid off in any year, this would it.” I laughed. I didn’t know how to process this.
But as the week went on, I was hurting. I would space out and think about the “what ifs.” And I would start crying.
I feel for those who have lost their jobs earlier this year. Although I was laid off too at the beginning, I already had an opportunity lined up. With this, I had to allow myself the time to grieve before picking myself back up.
I told only a small group of people and then I crawled away in my own space to do whatever I pleased. I’m so thankful for my loved ones that reached out to ask how I was doing – day by day. Simple things such as that have helped me heal.
But of course, shoutout to my girl Panyia for showing up to my house with McDonalds + Boba. She knows what’s up. She let me be as depressed as I wanted to be even if that meant I would gain 10 pounds 😛
I’m so thankful for Tony and he knows this. When the going gets tough, he has been and always will be there for me even when I give him my pouty face and tell him “I got this. Don’t worry.”
I was sad. I ate whatever wanted. I didn’t care about working out. I ate… And then didn’t eat. I hid. I didn’t talk.
I did what an ordinary person would do if they lost their job.
But eventually, I had to pick myself back up. Being depressed was cool and all (we have gotta laugh little bit :P) – allow myself to feel, do as I please but look, I’m Jennifer and hustling is my game.
It’s like they say “The comeback is always greater than the setback.” And I’m here for it.
I’m making my way back around. I’m going to be okay. For those who have lost their jobs this year, I truly believe you will make your way back as well if you haven’t already.
It’s a tough time and although the normal reaction would be to get mad and frustrated, I don’t feel that way. This year keeps turning and turning and turning in ways we don’t want it to but it is. And we can’t control the uncontrollable.
We can only do so much.
Keep your head up. Stay safe and be there for your loved ones. We’re all going through a little something, even more so this year and we can only do our best to stay on our feet.
I send lots of love and hugs to you all and hope you’re doing well!